i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
