How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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