we have pet lesbian snakes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
