To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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