fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
