Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
