she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
