i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize