He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
