It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
