You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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