I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize