He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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