Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
