Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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