how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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