Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
