I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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