i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
