I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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