yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
