Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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