I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
