question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
