I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
