Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
