I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
last night I used snow as a chaser
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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