Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
