I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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