You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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