people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
