FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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