u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
