I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
