I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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