I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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