Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
