failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
