Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
