we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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