check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
