This girl is more easily done than said...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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