It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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