don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up under a house in Key West
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
