I think I died a long time ago.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
