I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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