She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
