How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
