And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I party with great urgency now.
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