I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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