Screwed.edu
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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