Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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