What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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