Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
