party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
