I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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