my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize