That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
