its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
