I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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