sarcasm needs its own font
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
