Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't turn off my feet"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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