the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You ruined the universe
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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