What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
