We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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