some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
