you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize