Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
