She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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