you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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