my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
