one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize