...so i touched it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
