He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
