Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
